Understanding Justice Sensitivity, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and How They Impact Relationships
Why This Matters?
We all want to be treated fairly and to feel included. For some, though, even small things like being left out of a group chat, not getting credit for their work, or feeling dismissed in a conversation can feel overwhelming.
If you have ever caught yourself thinking- Why am I always treated this way? Why do they never appreciate me? or Did I do something wrong Why are they ignoring me? you may be experiencing Justice Sensitivity or Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).
These are not overreactions. They are deeply rooted emotional patterns often shaped by childhood experiences. They shape how we see ourselves, how we connect with others, and how we react under stress. They matter because they can quietly influence your self-worth and your closest relationships.
And if this feels like you, know this, you are not broken and you are not alone. Many people feel things this deeply.
Justice Sensitivity and RSD can show up in many settings. Seeing them in real life helps us notice how deeply they affect both teens and adults.
In family life:
- A child hears, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling” and grows up believing they will never be enough.
- A parent forgets to mention you in a family story, and you feel invisible and hurt.
In friendships:
- A teenager is left out of a group chat or not invited to an outing, and the exclusion feels unbearable.
- A friend cancels plans at the last minute, and instead of thinking they might be tired, you feel abandoned.
In romantic relationships:
- You send a long message and get only a one word reply. Instead of brushing it off, you spiral into fear of rejection.
- Your partner forgets to check in and it feels like proof that you do not matter to them.
In school or work:
- You do most of the work on a project but someone else gets the credit, leaving you enraged and defeated.
- A colleague talks over you in a meeting and you replay the moment for hours, long after they have forgotten.
- You are passed over for a promotion despite putting in effort, reinforcing the belief that the world is stacked against you.
These experiences may look small to others but they feel very real and very heavy to the person going through them.
What Is Justice Sensitivity?
Justice Sensitivity is about noticing and reacting strongly to unfairness. Psychologists describe three common ways this shows up:
- Victim JS: You feel you are the one being wronged.
Example: You do most of the work on a project but your colleague gets all the praise. You do not just feel irritated, you feel enraged or deeply hurt. - Observer JS: You cannot stand seeing others treated unfairly.
Example: A friend gets cut off in a meeting. You stew over it for hours, even more than your friend does. - Perpetrator JS: You feel guilty if you treat others unfairly.
Example: You raise your voice in an argument. Even if the other person has moved on, you replay it for days apologizing again and again.
Children who constantly hear comparisons, are blamed unfairly, or who feel overlooked when rules are applied unevenly often carry these sensitivities into adulthood.
What About Rejection Sensitivity and Where Do They Come From
Rejection Sensitivity (RSD) is the constant assumption of being rejected even when there is little or no evidence.
For instance a partner replies with only one word to your long message. Instead of brushing it off, you spiral into thoughts like They must be upset with me or Maybe they do not care anymore. Other examples would be: A friend cancels dinner. Instead of assuming they are tired, you feel sure you have been abandoned. Or when a teenager who is excluded from group activities or bullied may carry the same fear of rejection into adult friendships.
Rejection Sensitivity often forms in homes where affection or approval was inconsistent. Repeated rejection, unfair/harsh treatment, or constant comparisons can wire the nervous system to stay alert to any sign of exclusion. Your Honesty, loyalty and hard-work are often dismissed or invalidated.
These experiences can shape beliefs such as:
• Life is unfair
• People will leave me
• No one truly values me
And sometimes the pain flips in the other direction. Some people mask their sensitivity by saying things like
“Chuck it, it is not worth dwelling on such folks… I do not care at all.”
This does not mean the feelings are gone. It is often a protective layer built to avoid being hurt again.
How This Impacts Relationships?
Unresolved sensitivity can erode intimacy in subtle but powerful ways:
- Emotional overreactions: A partner forgetting to text back feels like proof they do not care or are irresponsible.
• Walking on eggshells: Loved ones feel they cannot say anything without causing hurt or starting a fight.
• Conflict cycles: A small disagreement about chores escalates into You never respect me, you always dismiss me.
• Trust erosion: Constant testing like Do you really love me, would you choose me over others slowly wears down relationships.
At its worst, the very sensitivity that longs for closeness can create the distance one fears most. But when understood, it can also become a strength. People who feel this way often care deeply about fairness, loyalty, and connection.
What Helps?
- Pause before reacting
Before jumping to conclusions, ask yourself, -Could there be another reason this happened. - Reframe the story
Instead of They ignored me on purpose, try Maybe they were distracted. - Micro reset in the moment
Put your feet flat on the floor. Name three things you see around you. Take one slow breath. This tells your nervous system you are safe. - Reality check
Ask yourself, what would I say to a friend in my shoes? - Build an evidence journal
Write down times when people were fair, kind, or included you. Over time, this shifts focus from injustice to balance. - Healthy communication
Use I feel statements. For example, I felt hurt when I was not included in the plan instead of You always ignore me. - Therapy and self compassion
Working with a therapist can help untangle old wounds. Schema therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, and compassion focused therapy are often useful.
Closing Note
Justice and rejection sensitivity often come from painful pasts but they also reflect deep values, a yearning for fairness, belonging, and love.
Sensitivity is not weakness. It is your heart’s way of asking for safety and connection. Some may cope by pretending not to care, but beneath that mask the same desire for love and fairness still lives. With awareness and practice, what once caused hurt can become a strength that fuels empathy, fairness, and deeper bonds.
You do not have to face this alone. Healing begins with noticing, and every small step matters.